Hard to say...

So I guess it is definitely odd to have two posts in one day, let alone one that is quite good (http://donnasdayasdaisy.blogspot.com/2013/07/fourth-of-july.html) and now this one.  I thought I would give a bit of an update on how things are going with me being at home now.... Mainly so that I can just get it off my chest and hopefully feel better, because I have to say that if I wake up tomorrow as I did today, I am going to be heading straight to Hell and real soon too. (Note: if you don't want to hear a lot of complaining/venting/de-stressing from me, then stop now and please enjoy the Fourth of July post instead). 

So, I am 27 weeks pregnant and for the most part things with my pregnancy are going great actually.  There is very little to complain about when it comes to this one. My weight gain has been good (16 lbs so far), my blood pressure is great (still really low as is my normal), no issues with our little boy as of this point, no pre-term labor signs. Aside from the morning sickness at the beginning and the extreme tiredness I feel now, there is no problems! PERFECT right? Well, I hope you caught the extreme tiredness part, because that plays into how I am feeling currently as a stay at home mom.  

Being as tired as I am, for various reasons I am unable to get a good nights rest; and a nap when you have 3 older children in the house is quite comical.  You would think that being they are 7, 10 and 13 years old, a quick 1/2 hour nap would be feasible.  Yeah, except you don't know the West kids very well then do you?  These kids are very demanding in so many ways, and are a lot like oil and vinegar (especially Evan and Amanda) and absolutely don't mix well at all.  So a nap in the day when Willow gets one (if she gets one) is something I keep dreaming about happening.  And sleeping at night is just as comical lately.  Willow still co-sleeps, I can get her to sleep in our chair, and then lay her in her bed, but by 4 am at the latest she is back in my bed for whatever reason. Oh and did I mention being 27 weeks pregnant? Yeah that makes sleeping fun all on its own as well.  

So being 27 weeks pregnant and exhausted as much as one can be, we don't really go out and do much.  I am only able to run the must do errands, the few must do household chores to keep a bit of sanity and maybe stop a fight or two before I am so dang exhausted and literally short of breath that the thought of taking my kids out alone is beyond frightening!  So instead, we stay here.  I feel bad as I really had grand plans to try and take them to Millennium Park, or even just a park to go play.  But trying to chase a toddler around right now just exhausts me more than a few errands!  So since we don't get out much the kids have become inventive in playing outdoors here more, or enjoying their time on the computer (when allowed to), but also get on each others nerves quite a bit!  

I wish I could have a moments of peace or mommy time outside of the house, away from the kids.  I love them, and I love all that we are doing when it comes to connecting and talking with each other and trying new ways to solve problems, etc.  But I am losing my mind right now.  I cry as I type this as honest as I am being for you all.  I have not been away from the kids since summer started, and I don't get a moment without someone yelling 'mom' for whatever reason it may be.  I get a few of my daily household chores done, which really makes me fell a bit better and accomplished (as odd as that is), but I have really been keeping up on that at least.   But if this mom doesn't get a moment soon, I will indeed go crazy.

And Jon, I give him credit as I won't allow him to help out.  I kind of refuse to admit defeat to him! LOL  He is taking two classes right now and working full time, and I truly remember how absolutely hard that can be; and how important it is to have the study time you need.  So even when he is home, its like he isn't because I don't want to disturb him and his homework time.  That may seem silly to some, but I know how hard he works to get the grades he does and I don't want to be a block in anyway of him accomplishing his goals. 

Yet this morning, proved to me that I need an out, somehow, someway and soon!! I won't go into details of my morning, but it was nasty.  And I am not sure anyone got away unscathed either... :(  

So, if you have any coping tips for a new stay at home mom, who is also sleep deprived and pregnant, please lay them on me....Or send prayers, or calming energy my way as at this point I need all the help I can get.  

Thank you to all my friends if you made it this far.