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Showing posts from February, 2011

An internal search

So this morning, I woke up at 6 am, lying in between my husband and my baby girl. I look to Willow who is sound asleep and I smile at how precious she looks lying there, with her hands near her face trying to hold her pacifier in! And as I look at her, I become completely overwhelmed with thoughts and emotions. It wasn't too long ago that I was still angry that I was pregnant, and how I was supposed to be working on finishing school not raising another child. Then to top it off she had to decide to be born on Dec. 24th which forced us to spend Christmas in the hospital! But as I look at my daughter, my little Willow, who is the one child who is a nursing champ, the one who made me decide to cloth diaper, the one who is grounding me. I can not help but cry. She needs me as a newborn as much as I need her to see my family again and what my role as a mom is. I can not help but still sit here and cry hours later as she sits in her swing asleep. I am not sure why now this is …

Mid-Winter blahs....

Well the mid winter blahs have hit our house!! Maybe it is just me, but I am so ready for Spring. I want to be able to get out of this house! I do not work but only 2 days a week, and I am not used to that type of schedule, so I feel like I have so much time on my hands and because of it I feel that I can put off a lot of things as I will have time later for it. But time is running short. Mainly for me to finish the work for my classes that I received in completes for last semester. I believe I am down to 6 weeks before everything needs to be turned in. I just feel like life has taken over and it may possibly be having me travel down a different road.
I do not want to give up going to school as I have always wanted to be a teacher, but now I have a newborn at home and a soon to be 11 yr. old as well! I have been out of high school for 14 yrs. and have a wonderful family, but have not been able to complete what I have always thought would be... school. I think I am set to gradu…

Back to the grind...

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So, I went back to work this week. Though it turned out to not be such a great week to go back! First I had to call in on Monday as we had two kids home sick, Evan and Mandie both with temps over 101. :( Mandie was getting over strep and Evan just had a cold. Then I went into work on Tuesday and did just fine. Then yesterday we had a "blizzard" or so the weather man says! LOL Basically a foot and half of snow fell and yes everything closed (even a mall!) but we were able to dig out the next day (today). So I went into work today and did well, and then tomorrow I will not be there since I have an appointment with the principal at school. So, it should be interesting.
But next week is my official time back to work. It seemed okay this week with Willow going to the sitter and Jon and her doing just fine. I am thinking my milk supply will even itself out as well, since we are exclusively breast feeding and she is doing so well with that!! She is my nursing champ! …