Clearing my plate

We all have stuff on our plates, be it a health issue, job stress, family or financial stress - there is always something to fill our plates on a daily basis.  Sometimes, it is helpful to clear those plates and get a fresh start.  It is not always possible, but today I am going to clear my plate - hand it over and honestly just let go.

Willow was in the hospital last week, she suffered headaches every day that even alternating Tylenol and Motrin would not touch.  So Thursday she was playing outside in the evening with her siblings and fell down and hit her head.  It of course resulted in a goose egg on the forehead.  No big deal for a child without head injury, but for Willow it was better to just take her in to ER especially since she was already suffering.  So they admitted her.  Friday morning, her neurosurgeon shows up and says the CT and shunt series look good.  :)  But  her ventricles are tiny, very tiny and that truly isn't good (for numerous reasons), her lab work shows she is fighting some sort of minor bacterial infection - so lets test for a UTI and then go home.  Well, we enjoy our weekend as we usually try to do despite the circumstances - you never truly know how much time you have with someone and its best to squeeze out a lot of enjoyment when possible :)

We will fast forward to yesterday, Wednesday when things are taking a further turn down a hill that I don't want to travel.  She lost her appetite.  She normally eats breakfast with her siblings, 3-4 snacks about an hour later, lunch then from 3-5 pm about 3-4 more snacks, then dinner and a bed time snack then bed! LOL She is a growing girl after all! :)  Yesterday she ate 1/2 a package of fruit snacks, a glass of milk, about 4 apple slices and a glass of chocolate milk and dinner was cream corn, a few bites of a corn dog and some shredded cheese.  :(   Where did her appetite go?  Now if you had seen her yesterday running around in circles, singing and dancing you would not know there was a single thing bothering her.  I love her for that! But my heart breaks for her at the same time.  I wish I could make her better, I wish that I didn't have to take her to the hospital today for a nuclear medical study of the shunt to see if it really has stopped working, or if its only 1/2 working.  Her NS is leaning towards it being an intermittent shunt failure, but due to her tiny vents, he doesn't want to do surgery unless it is actually caught as not working....

My plate is full - full of worry for Willow, full of stress as I am 37 weeks pregnant and as silly as it is, am beginning to think this little boy just won't come (he will be late I am sure of it at this point).  There are other stressors in our life at this point too that I just don't even want to get into... But I know my plate is full, I am emotionally spent and not sure what tomorrow will even bring. But I need to clear this plate, and hand it over.  Things will calm down once again - and then the plate will fill with new stresses!

Thanks for letting me vent and clear the plate with you all today. Please keep Willow in your thoughts, prayers and well wishes.

Here are some photos that I thought I would share as well, since I haven't done that too much this summer -

Can't believe she is big enough for a regular swing already! 

Some days hydrocephalus just gets the best of you... Our make shift bed in the living room on super humid nights

And then there is the style sense that every toddler has... 

September is National Hydrocephalus Awareness Month - here are my two goofballs wearing their blue in support

First day of school: Amanda 3rd, Evan 5th, Jonathan 8th and Willow is still at home LOL 

Last weeks hospital stay :( 

Sometimes making music like daddy is all she needs to feel better 

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